Expense of One
by jaik
Summary: This is the first time I have participated in a challenge. 1.Story of someone getting drunk 2.Ref to peanuts 3.Booth called Mulder 4.FBI joke by an outsider.


**Written because I've never participated in a challenge before. Enjoy!**

**Made known by Kara B**

**The Challenge:**

**Do Include:  
Someone telling a story of watching someone slowly getting really drunk  
A reference to peanuts  
Booth being called Mulder  
A joke on the FBI not made by a squint**

**Don't Include:  
Brennan saying "I don't know what that means" or words to that affect, cause that just bugs me.**

"Man you guys missed it last night", Hodgins announced as he walked into the Jeffersonian Medico-Legal lab.

"Missed what hodgy?" Angela asked with a sly smile which sent Jack Hodgins into a speechless state.

Tempe just starred at them not saying a word.

Jack smiled back while saying nervously, "Good morning, Angela. You look very…uh…nice. Look very nice…today."

Tempe cleared her throat then asked, "what happened last night, Jack?"

Jack looked at her blankly then remembered the events of the night before, "Oh, you missed Zack getting totally out of mind drunk."

"What does Z-Man do when totally out of his mind drunk?" Angela asked once again gaining the attention of Jack.

There eyes met briefly before he continued his story, "Yeah…Well he can't walk a straight line while touching his nose with alternating right and left hands WHILE saying the alphabet backwards."

"Jack what else did you get him to do?" Angela asked.

"I got him to prank called Cullen…" Jack said softly.

"Jack you didn't?"

"I did!"

"How many drinks did he consume?" Brennan asked sternly.

Jack looked at her barely containing the laughter sitting on the edge of tongue. He didn't answer which made Brennan ask again, "Jack! How many? Over consumption can be very dangerous for some who doesn't usually partake in such activities."

"Dr. Brennan relax. He only had one."

"One?" Even I can drink more than one", Brennan said almost sounding proud. She wasn't so socially crippled after all.

"Yes one." With that the three of them busted out with a burst of laughter that could be heard out side the lab doors. At the scene of the three of them doubled over in amusement Booth could be seen hesitating at the doors when Hodgins noticed him.

"Hey Mulder what's up?" Hodgins asked as he met Booth near the lab door.

"Ooh, if he's Mulder do I get to be Scully?" yelled Brennan closely following behind Hodgins when she saw Booth walk in.

The two men turn to her clearly surprised. "What?" she asked growing irritated by their starring.

"Nothing!" Booth said quickly. "It's just that…Bones how do you know who Mulder and Scully are?"

"What? I'm not allowed to know who they are?"

"It's not that, Bones, but you don't even own a TV", after he made this comment he saw a slight chance in her demeanor as she looked away from him.

"Bones, tell me you at least bought the nicest flat panel television you could find."

"Okay, YES I bought a TV and YES I found the investigative techniques use by Mulder and Scully highly entertaining…"

"You are hooked on the X Files!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"I am NOT hooked", she told him incredulously.

He gave her that 'I know you are not telling the whole truth' look he usually reserved for the criminals element in an interrogation room.

Finally she broke under the stare, "okay, Russ bought me the first two seasons and I enjoyed the storylines."

"You are so hooked. So, what does a world renowned forensic anthropologist watch late at night?"

"Peanuts", she told him under her breath.

"Peanuts? You like the Peanuts Gang?"

Why does that surprise you? The Peanuts were one of the most popular and influential in the history of the medium. It helped to cement the four-panel gag strip as the standard in the United States…"

"Bones…" he cut her off.

But she cut him off in turn, "You know you remind me of Charlie Brown."

"Why would I remind you of Charlie Brown?"

"You have the same self-defeating stubbornness as the Charlie Brown character."

"I do not have a self-defeating stubbornness."

"You do, Booth. You are constantly looking down upon yourself because of the duty you had to perform as sniper."

"I do not have a self-defeating stubbornness", he repeated.

"You keep doing what you do because you feel you will never win entrance into…heaven. Just like Charlie Brown when he can't win a game no matter how he tries…"

Booth looked at her not knowing what else to say. He was saved the need to continue the conversation when Jack cut in by saying, "Uh, sorry to interrupt but the rest of us are heading over to Wong Foo's. You guys want to join us."

"Yeah, I just need to grab my jacket and a file. We'll be right behind you", Tempe told him then looked at Booth.

"I'm in. I'll wait with Bones. You guys can go ahead", Booth said.

Jack, Zack, and Angela left the lab together. So after Booth and Brennan followed.

When they arrived Sid was talking while the squint squad was gathered around the bar in rapt attention. Booth and Brennan walked in on the scene and moved closer to listen in.

"There once was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head. They were all running from the FBI. They ran and ran. They saw this barn, they ran in. Then they saw 3 burlap sacks and hid in them.

The FBI guys entered the barn, and seeing the sacks kicked the first one which the brunette was in.

'Meow meow' says the bag.

'Oh it's just some cats' says the man. He kicks the next sack that the red head was in.

'Bark, Ruff!' comes from within the sack.

'Oh, it's just a bunch of dogs!' he says.

Then he goes to the last sack that the blonde was in, and before he could kick it, she said 'Potatoes!'"

Zack looked at the rest them and said seriously, "I don't get it!"

This sent the rest of them into fits of giggles. When it was starting to die down Booth looked over at Zack, "Zack, buddy! Even Bones got that one."

The round of giggles was once again renewed. The rest of the Wong Foo diners could only look on at the group of friends giggling at the expense of one.


End file.
